Back at it again / Here I go again

My mind alternates between two things when I hear these similar phrases. One, “Daaaaaamn Daniel, back at it again with the white vans.” Two, the intro to the song ‘Shoop’ by Salt-n-Pepa.

But I’m back. Back on whatever track. Track. Trains. Why don’t they say “All aboard!” when a train is taking passengers? Random guy on the elevator has a point. That phrase has a kind of welcoming nostalgia to it. “All aboard!” sounds like we’re about to go on an adventure, not the next boring old stop on the L. The overhead announcements go from “now boarding” to “doors closing” in about 0.3 seconds. I think it takes longer than 0.3 seconds to say “All aboard!” especially if you say it like Tom Hanks in the Polar Express. That’s probably why it isn’t said anymore. Takes too much time. What. a. shame.

I have a love/hate relationship with trains. They’re loud, dirty, oftentimes late or inconsistent. BUT, they provide inexpensive transportation, and that’s it. I can’t afford a car, so here I am. Spending three hours a day, five days a week taking two different train lines to and from work. I think that’s why I’m so stressed out.

Oh my god, have I been stress eating. Chocolate. I thought that was some dumb stereotype about women/people in general crave and binge on chocolate when stressed, but let me tell you, it is alive and real and has definitely caused me to gain between 5 and 10 lbs. Not that I’ve weighed myself in the last two months to verify since I don’t have a scale, but I can just tell.

I feel like I have no time to myself when I take the train. No alone time. There are always people on the train asking for money, talking loudly on the phone, to themselves, or trying to talk to you, let alone the sheer sound of the train. These are all noises that I have never had to deal with until moving to Chicago. Until a month ago, I could drive to work in 6 minutes flat if I hit all green lights, in total silence if I wanted to. No loud metal banging or unwanted talking. Now, I feel like that’s all I deal with.

I tried to listen to a podcast on the train the other day, but I literally could not hear the podcast, despite having the volume maxed, because of the damn noise of the train. I’m frustrated because I can’t do what I want, stressed because I always feel like I’m running late, and also in constant fear that the train is randomly going to break down or just stop for no reason, therefore causing me lateness!

Not only that, but spending nearly 3 hours per day on public transit leaves very little time outside of work and transit. If I get off work at 6:30pm, I don’t get home until nearly 8. By this time, I’m hungry, frustrated, and it’s almost dark out. I don’t feel like exercising before I eat because I’m hungry, and after I eat, it’s too late! It’s already dark outside, or it would be 10pm before my food is digested enough to want to work out.

Don’t even get me started about trying to work out before work. I recognize that this is probably the more reasonable option, I really just want to get my grievances off my chest. If I want to make it to my 10am shift ON TIME, I have to leave my apartment by 8:45. Which means I would have to wake up at 7:30 if I want to shower, but if I want to shower and work out, that means waking up around 6, giving me enough time to become coherent and also to cool off after a workout.

Damn, I know I just wanted to complain, but that actually sounds completely doable, and I’m kind of mad at myself for not realizing it before. If I go to bed by 10, wake up at 6, that’s a whole 8 hours of sleep my dude! SHit, I need to get my head out of my *ss, as my mom would say. But to be fair, sometimes you have to write stuff out, or say it out loud for it to really make sense. Now, to find the internal motivation to make this happen.

Diabetes. I wonder if I’m going to get diabetes. Maybe.

My brain is so sleepy right now, I have been awake for too many hours. Somewhere around the 20 hour mark. I don’t think I have diabetes. Good ni ght.

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