It’s been pretty much a year since I last blogged. But once again, perusing the internet, I have drifted back.
Despite the pandemic, I like to think I’m in a better place. Literally, not mentally or emotionally. God no. I’ve just moved to a new apartment with a roommate whose company I actually enjoy.
Several things are new. New laptop, new cat (there wasn’t an old cat, but still), new phone (mine got stolen :/), new mindset. Kind of, on the new mind set.
Several times a year, I tell myself that I’m going to start fresh, become a New Madison with New Habits and be Organized and have my Shit Together. And I do, for a day, week, or if I’m lucky, a week and a half.
I think I will one day become the New Madison I want to become. It’s going to take time, energy, therapy, and money, only one of which I have. (Spoiler alert, it’s time).
Until I become the New Madison, I guess the world will just have to deal with the Old Madison. She’s tired, potentially depressed, and definitely has been watching too much Sex and the City.
The school year aproacheth and I am not ready. Emotionally, mostly. I guess I don’t really have to be physically ready to go back to school, considering I’ll be at my apartment 90% of the time.
I’m nervous though. Everyone says the second year of pharmacy school is the hardest and how is that going to pan out since we’re taking all of our classes online? How will I be able to get any research experience? How will I be able to shmooze professors with my dazzling personality over Blackboard Collaborate? How?
It’ll be fine. Fine I say, fine. It’ll probably be a rough semester, but I’ll make it through. We’ll make it through. Although I do feel bad for the incoming first years who will have to suffer through (at least) their first semester of pharmacy school online.
I’m going to end this rambling whatever-it-is with a note of positivity. One positive thing that has come since quarantine, shut-down, and mass chaos across the globe: introspection. I think myself and many other people have had the opportunity to slow down and think about themselves. What they feel, what they think, what their values are. I’m not sure if I would have taken the time to introspect had I not been trapped in my apartment and forced to do so. We’re living through historic times, might as well find one bright spot in it. (PS I’m not trying to diminish the United States’ complete and utter mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic, BLM, and literally everything else and how genuinely difficult these *shudders* unprecedented times are)